Table of Contents
I n t r o d u c t i o n
A note from the author
P a r t I :
How did you get into that?
Becoming a dancer
Journal Entry - Nov 5th, 2002
Becoming an artist
Ideal life building
P a r t I I :
The first crack in the windshield
Journal Entry - Jan 23rd, 2011
Journal Entry - Feb 6th, 2011
Contradicting realities
Losing trust
Scared little porcupine
Research
Kickstand
Inkling of clarity
Journal Entry - Feb 28th, 2011
P a r t I I I :
Journal Entry - Mar 16th, 2011
Thick blackness
Raw, exposed
Overwhelming gibberish
More Questions
Pure fear
Journal Entry - Apr 17th, 2011
The what-ifs
Journal Entry - Apr 20th, 2011
Removing the last strip of the mask
Journal Entry - May 1st, 2011
Preparing for hibernation
Wrapping up loose ends
P a r t I V :
Journal Entry - May 5th, 2011
What happened?
Second crack in the windshield
Journal Entry - May 12th, 2011
Redefinition
Journal Entry - May 19th, 2011
My heart went out to you
Journal Entry - Jun 5th, 2011
Identity without affiliations
Gut alien
Unexpected triumph
Paper panic
Journal Entry - Jul 6th, 2011
White Bird
Journal Entry - Aug 14th, 2011
Public vs private
Mile marker
Journal Entry - Aug 30th, 2011
Art in the Dark
A warm and fuzzy heart
It’s time
Journal Entry - Oct 30th, 2011
P a r t V :
The big day
The other side
30 year old granny
Bring me a steak
Hospital discharge
Withdrawal
Setting the routine
Epic poop
First outings
Journal Entry - Nov 9th, 2011
Journal Entry - Nov 12th, 2011
Bittersweet transition
A day in the life
Journal Entry - Dec 5th, 2011
Moment of truth
P a r t V I :
Unexpected visitor
Always there
Digging deeper
Trusted advisor
Back on the outside
No spark
Intermission
Journal Entry - Dec 31st, 2011
P a r t V I I :
The flabby tin man
Two timing
Journal Entry - Jan 4th 2012
Perpetual nausea
Crutches at the gym
A half way new experience in yoga
Journal Entry - Jan 23rd, 2012
15 weeks
The no end in sight black sea
Journal Entry - Feb 10th, 2012
Journal Entry - Feb 12th, 2012
My Mumford anthem
Dove tail
Journal Entry - Mar 8th, 2012
Squeezed and soaked
My body was awake
Op report
Change in strategy
Invisible separation
Screws
No go (go figure)
Second time’s a charm
Moving on, moving out
Journal Entry - May 6th, 2012
No more funding
Journal Entry - May 12th, 2012
Journal Entry - May 19th, 2012
P a r t V I I I :
Rhymes with bucket
Panic to grounding
Soft steps
Journal Entry - Jul 19th, 2012
Physical progressions
Show time
Still not whole
Money
Journal Entry - Sept 26th, 2012
Two things
What I know
Journal Entry - Oct 14th, 2012
E p i l o g u e
A d d i t i o n a l R e s o u r c e s
A c k n o w l e d g e m e n t s